CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION AS OF JUNE 2007

 

DOCUMENTARY NARRATOR COMMENTS (SKEPTICAL OPINIONS CONCERNING THE BIBLE)
Note: As with all Documentaries some portions are accurate and non-biased.

Adam and Eve (A&E's Biography, 1996)
a) Lillith was Adams first wife. She's associated with "Lila" a night flying demon associated with men's sexual functions (Nocturnal Emissions). She was a tempter and birthed demons. She did not consider herself inferior to Adam. She spoke Gods secret name and then flew off into the night and was never seen again.

b) The Epic of Gilgamesh and Creation (Genesis similarities)?
My Comment: Enkidu was made from clay and sleeps with a Temple Prostitute. How is this similar to Genesis?

c) The Healing Oil of Mercy: This oil is refused Seth by the Angel Michael at the entrance to the Garden. Seth return with special seeds that grow into a tree that is used to makes Jesus' cross.
My Comment: The story about Seth and the angel cannot be confirmed biblically. How can they determine this was the tree that Jesus was crucvified upon?
They can't.

d) Eve associated with Pandora (negative - Pandora's Box) unlike Adam who is highly regarded.

 

Noah's Ark: The True Story (BBC Discovery Channel) - 2003)
a) Narrator (Avery Brooks): "maybe the Noah Story is an exaggeration or embellishment of the something that really happened."
My Comment: Biased stance on the subject matter.

b) Narrator (Avery Brooks): The Story of Noah (Gilgameah) was written in the sixth century in Babylon.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

c) Narrator (Avery Brooks): Noah's Flood was a localized flood in a village.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

d) Narrator (Avery Brooks): Noah was from Shurruppak.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

e) Narrator (Avery Brooks): The Ark was built to make $$.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

f) Narrator (Avery Brooks): Noah sold beer and animals.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

g) Narrator (Avery Brooks): His Ark was a combination of small boats tied together.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

h) Narrator (Avery Brooks): Most of Noah's kids weren't married.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

j) Narrator (Avery Brooks): Noah did not land in the Mtns. of Ararat but at Dilmun.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

k) Narrator (Avery Brooks): King Noah was not allowed to return to Shuruppak because he owed debts. Exiled.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

l) Narrator (Avery Brooks): Noah was probably buried at Dilmun in a mound - from "A Sumerian Myth" Pitchard, 28-30.
My Comment: No evidence for this belief.

 

Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning (Biography/A&E -1996)
a) 5,000 yrs ago Noah existed (assumes it's Ubaid period). Noah lives near the Garden of Eden? The time period attributes (babies cutting their own umbilical cords, four days of pregnancy til birth, babies fought demons, crops feed all people after one planting). Twice a day a flood comes and uproots the land with corpses. (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No evidence for these belief.

b) The Midrash is discussed concerning the time in which Noah lived > Unnatural sexuality. child abuse/cannibalism. Noah is born a body and hair as white as snow. He has an unearthly radiance. Noah is born circumcised. Noah and Lamech both knew that Moses was to be born circumcised? After Noah's birth he stands and recites a prayer. Lamech feels inadequate and flees to his father Methusaleh. (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996).
My Comment: Unnatural sexuality and child abuse/cannibalism = potentially true.

c) Noah is considered a prodigy and is close to his Mother. Noah lives in the Mountain over looking the Garden of Eden (pre-flood). Methuselah teaches Math, Astronomy and Engineering to Noah. (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996).
My Comment: No evidence for these beliefs.

d) Noah and Methuselah are farmers growing fruits and vegetables in famine weary ground. Noah invents the plow and the Scythe. Noah marries at 498 yrs of age...his wife's name is Naamah. Noah received visions of the coming flood and it drives to the edge of madness (perhaps where Noah's Ark the movie got their ideas of Noah's illness). Enoch appears in an earthquake and assures Noah that he is not mad. Reasons for the Flood = Humans have learned "Celestial Secrets" that should have been hidden from them but were learned from the Angels, also wickedness.
(Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment:No evidence for these beliefs.

e) Enoch tells Noah he will be safe because he left the celestial secrets alone. Enoch tells Noah he will father a new race. A divine messenger will give Noah instructions on how to do this (build the Ark etc;). Naamah tells Noah tell the people to stop their wickedness but they refuse. Noah builds the Ark. A sacred book of wisdom made of sapphire appears in Noah's hand. Adam had it originally but he lost it. An angel finds the book and gives it to Noah. The book shows Noah how to build the Ark. (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996).My Comment: No evidence for these beliefs.

f) Noah is told to take only those animals that crouch down, not those that stand into the Ark. Noah waited to go into the Ark only after the water reached
his knees.
(Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No evidence for these beliefs.

g) Midrash? > (Unable to determine what is and isn't Midrash as opposed to other texts outside of the Bible.) The people outside panicked and the people were cursing and try to beat down the Ark door from the outside. The animals outside trample those trying to get into the Ark. Noah domesticated and talked to them (an ancient Dr. Doolittle) and preserved order and harmony upon the Ark. A Lion attacks Noah and makes him a cripple with a displaced hip due to the attack. Noah cannot do the post-flood sacrifice so Shem (the eldest) does it.(Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No evidence for these beliefs yet the Lion attack on Noah kinda sounds like Jacob when he wrestled with God and his hip was displaced (Genesis 32).

h) Family quarrels "…and there were no psychologists around to help them work out the details." (Mockery? Interviewee not cited). Ham refuses to remain celibate. Noah goes mad due to Ark conditions > (Where NBC got it's ideas for "Noah's Ark" miniseries?). Noah feels guilt at not being able to stop the flood/destruction. Noah weeps at the sight of the destruction (corpses etc;). (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No evidence for these beliefs.

I) Noah's Ark lands. Shem does sacrifice. Noah is given the first commandments since he is the new father of mankind "don't shed human blood" every human should obey. The time of Giants and Legends is over. Noah plants a grapevine that Adam took from Eden. Satan tries to help in Noah's harvest. Satan is Noah's sinful nature (Torah?). (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No evidence for these beliefs yet Egyptian Execration Texts do tell of Giants in the era "after" Noah. The time of Giants and Legends is over is a false claim by A&E. (LINK)

g) Noah drunk in the tent (theories about this episode)
1) Ham is perhaps unbalanced due to his Ark experience (Where NBC got it's ideas for "Noah's Ark" miniseries?).
2) Ham sodomized Noah?
3) Castrates Noah? To prevent further children so that only Noah's three sons will inherit.
4) Ham sees his fathers despair, a secret side of his father or a new insight on his father.
(Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No evidence for these beliefs.

 

Secrets of Ancient World > The Search for Noah's Ark - The History Channel
a) Critic opinion > "I think that Noah's Ark is part of one of these Creation legends which just happens to have become a part of Christian Canon which means, it being a very influential, powerful religion with a lot of people who believe in the literal, historical truth of the scriptures that it is quite an easy step for a lot of people to say , "Hey, Noah's Ark existed, let's go an look for it." (Interviewee not cited. May not have been indentified in a particular portion of the program).
(Source: The Search for Noah's Ark on The History Channel ). My Comment: The Critic has a biased position that is not rebutted within this program.

 

Mysteries of Noah's Flood, The Learning Channel (2002)
a)

 

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ACADEMICS, THEOLOGIANS, RABBI'S, GUIDES

- Lloyd Bailey (Professor of Religion, Mount Olive College), presumably a Bible Scholar.
a) "There is no boat there (on Ararat) and there never has been." (Source: Noah's Ark: The True Story (BBC/The Discovery Channel). My Comment: Bailey is cited as a Bible Scholar in this program. A Bible Scholar who denies biblical events? Okay?

b) He denies that Noah's Ark was built with a smelting method because it was the Hittites (about 1500 B.C.) that first started smelting Iron 1,000 years after (loose approx.) supposedly Noah's Flood occurred (2500 B.C.E.) according to Bailey. (Source: The Search for Noah's Ark on The History Channel ).

My Comment: I believe the flood occurred pre-Hasssuna and that tablets contained the story of the Flood from this general period. Others believe the flood occurred around 4100 B.C. (Ubaid period) or 2600 B.C.E. > the era of King Gilgamesh.
Problems with Bailey's theory...
#1:- Russian archaeologists discovered Iron smelting furnaces in 1972 that date to 2500 B.C.E. (E.M. Blaiklock, p. 313). Bailey is caught with his own words in that he denies the idea that 1000 yrs prior to 1500 (Bailey said 1,000 yrs in the interview) there was iron smelting.
#2: What is most interesting is that the furnaces were discovered near Ararat where the Ark landed. Hee hee!! The Lord has a great sense of humor!

c)

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- C Lyon Batten (University of California)

- Helen Bond (University of Edinburgh).

- James H. Charlesworth (Princeton Theological Seminary).

- Eric Cline (Historian and Archaeologist, George Washington University?).

- Felicity Cobbing (John Garstang, Jericho excavator, Curator).

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- Daniel Smith-Christopher (Loyola University).
a) Historical Consultant for Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996 (Many errors/false beliefs in this program).

b)

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- John Dominic Crossan (The Jesus Seminar/DePaul University).

- Steven Davies

- William Dever (University of Arizona?).

- Allen Dundes (University of California/Berkeley).

- Robert Eisemann (Author).

- Steve Emmel (Copticologist).

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- Tamara Eskanazi (Hebrew Union College).

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- Carole Fontaine (Andover Newton Theological School).
a) God is an inexperienced deity that can't control or doesn't know how to control Adam and Eve (his children in the Garden with the Tree of Knowledge) (Source: Adam and Eve (A&E's Biography).

b) Because Adam and Eve wore animal skins after the fall they were considered similar to animals by God. (Source: Adam and Eve (A&E's Biography).

c) Tells unbiblical story about Noah > - Lamech meets with his father and then returns home. Methuselah inquires of his father Enoch. Methus finds Enoch in his celestial home and tells him about Noah (Is Noah cursed or good?). Enoch says that Noah has come to give us salvation from the coming great destruction.
(Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996).

d) Jewish legend: People mocked Noah and he mocked back but he was upset. (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996).
My Comment: No biblical/historical evidence for these beliefs.

e) The men and women slept separately as did the animals. (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996).
My Comment: No biblical/historical evidence for these beliefs.

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- Paula Fredriksen (Boston University).

- Israel Finkelstein (Archaeologist).

- Marc Goodacre (University of Birmingham)

. - Richard Horseley (Historian).

- Tal Ilan (Jewish Historian).

- Karen King (Biblical Historian).

- Ross Kraemer (Historian).

- Rabbi Harold Kushner (When Bad Things Happen to Good People).

- Allan Lloyd

- Peter Machinist (Harvard Divinity School, Professor of Hebre/Oriental Languages).

- Chris Maunder (University of Leeds).

- Gregory Mobley (Harvard Divinity School).

- Andrea Mollinary (Theologian).

- Father Jerome O'Connor.

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- Ian Pliner (Geologist)
a) Said the absence of evidence for a global flood evidence means there was no flood. (Source: Noah's Ark: The True Story (BBC/The Discovery Channel).
...My Comment: The absence of evidence DOES NOT mean evidence will not be uncovered. My academic background is not in Creationism or the earth sciences. I ...hesitate to recommend Creationist links due to that fact.

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- Peter A. Pitzele
a) Tells unbiblical story about Noah > - Methuselah returns and takes care of Noah. Methuselah tells Noah all the stories (Creation, Adam, Eve etc;) he needs to take upon the Ark and preserve (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996).

b) Ham, one of Noah's sons, is least interested in building Noah's Ark/doing as God commands. (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No biblical/historical evidence for these beliefs.

c) Noah feels guilt as a survivor and not protesting Gods decision. (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No biblical/historical evidence for these beliefs.

- Peter Richardson (Historian).

- David Rohl (Questionable conduct and evidence).

- Nahum Sarna (Brandeis University).

- Thomas Schaub (Archaeologist).

- John Shelby Spong.

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- Aron Tendler (Yeshiva University).
a) Noah could pick out cedar trees that could grow up to 50 meters (he had a great understanding of nature). (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No biblical/historical evidence for these beliefs.

b) Noah plants the cedar trees that will become his Ark. Noah planted the trees and cultivated the wood to fulfill the commandment of God. (Source: Noah and the Ark: Voyage to a New Beginning, Biography/A&E -1996). My Comment: No biblical/historical evidence for these beliefs.

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- Christine Thomas (Professor of Theology).

- Dr. Steve Tinney (Asst. Curator, University of Pennsylvania Museum).

- Archaeologist Jonathan Tubb.

- David Vanderhooft (Asst. Professor of Hebrew Scripture at Boston College).

- Peter Wells (pro-Garden Tomb regardless of lack of evidence).

- Larry Wills (Episcopal Divinity School).

- Rabbi David Wolpe

a) Adam feels like a co-Creator/Partner with God since he names the animals. (Source: Adam and Eve (A&E's Biography). b)

- N.T. Wright.

- Walter Zanger (Author).

- Richard L. Zettler (University of Pennsylvania Museum/Associate Curator).

- Bruce Zukerman (University of Southern California).

NEWSMAKERS, ANCHORS…

- Peter Jennings (ABC).

 

MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS

- Dr. Michael Persinger (a Neuropsychologist).

- Bruce Moseley (Orthopedic Surgeon).

 

SCIENTISTS

 

- Ian Pliner (Geologist).

- V.S. Ramachandran (Neuroscientist).

- Farouk el-Baz (Center for Remote Sensing, Boston University).

ACTORS, WRITERS, MUSICIANS, TV PERSONALITIES, NARRATORS

 

- Ben Affleck (Actor)

- Jessica Alba (Actress)

- Woody Allen (Actor/Director/Comedian)

- Kirstie Alley (Actress > CHEERS)

Pamela Anderson (Model, Actress)

- Dan Aykroyd (Actor/Comedian)

- Pernilla August (Actor who played Mary in "Mary, Mother of Jesus," an NBC production).

- Christian Bale (Actor who played Jesus in "Mary, Mother of Jesus," an NBC production).

- Marlon Brando (Actor)

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- Avery Brooks (Actor, Narrator > "Ancient Evidence")

Noah's Ark: The True Story (errors).
a) The Narrator stated that the Ark size was 300 cubits x 30 x 30. The Bible says 300 x 50 x 30 or 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. An error 10 minutes in! b) The documentary stated that the Ark was the size of a supertanker but that it would sink.
c) The Ark was canoe shaped not a barge.
d) The documentary stated that the Ark size much smaller > The Ark was actually small boats tied together.
e) The Noah of the documentary had 7 days to get the animals on board. The Bible doesn't give an approximate time. f) Narrator "The flood is farfetched." > Comment: Biased, one-sided analysis.

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- George Carlin (Comedian/Actor).

- Jim Carrey (Actor/Comedian)

- Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian/Actor).

- Micky Dolenz (Musician > The Monkees)

- Phil Donahue (Talk Show Host)

- Roger Ebert (Sneak Previews)

- "The Family Guy" writers > Steve Callahan, Bobby Bowman, Ken Goin, Dave Collard.

- W.C. Fields (Comedian/Actor).

- Dave Foley (Actor > formerly of News Radio)

- Jodie Foster (Actress)

- Janeane Garofalo (Actress/Comedian, Air America Host)

- Bill Gates (Founder of Microsoft)

- Richard Gere (Actor)

- Seth Green (Actor > The Family Guy, Austin Powers).

- Hugh Hefner (Playboy Founder)

- Katharine Hepburn (Actress)

- Billy Joel (Musician

- Angelina Jolie (Actress)

- Diane Keaton (Actress)

- Margot Kidder (Actress > Superman)

- Richard Kiley (Narrator > "Mysteries of the Bible")

- Bill Maher (Comedian)

- Barry Manilow (Musician)

- Seth MacFarlane (Creator/Voice Actor, "The Family Guy")

- Todd McFarlane (Cartoonist)

- Jack Nicholson (Actor)

- Leonard Nimoy (Actor, Star Trek)

- Penn and Teller (Magicians, Illusionists).

- Keanu Reeves (Actor)

- Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek creator)

- Andy Rooney (60 Minutes)

- Michael Roberts (Documentary writer).

- Jessica Simpson (Musician/Actress)

- Jeremy Sisto (Actor who played "Jesus" in the CBS production).

- George Soros (Political Contributor)

- Britney Spears (Musician/Actress) .

- Mary Steenbergen (Actor who played Naamah in "Noah's Ark," an NBC production).
..(See Below)

- Howard Stern (Radio Host)

- Ted Turner (former head of CNN)

- Gore Vidal (Homosexual Author)

- Jon Voight (Actor who played Noah in "Noah's Ark," an NBC production).

...Noah's Ark seems to be a favorite topic of ridicule for Filmmakers and Documentary Producers. The NBC production called Noah's Ark, one assumed, would be a close enough parallel to the Bible story to please all audiences but something went terribly wrong. The film begins with a disclaimer that in essence says that scenes were changed for dramatic affect. What? Problems already? Noah and Lot are engaged in a sport that looks more like a battle than a game. Lot thinks Noah is insance because he believes in God. Lot asks Noah if he would like to participate in an orgy. Noah (Voight) pleads for the people of Sodom to be saved from Gods wrath is not only poorly acted but historically bizarre. The conversation in the film between Noah and God actually took place between Abraham and God (Genesis 18). Noah wasn't a contemporary of the people of Sodom (2000-1900 B.C.). After the scene where Noah (actually Abraham) pleads with God for the lives of the Sodomites he is chased down a Mountain during a volcanic eruption and is in danger of being burned alive by the hot lava. Where is this in the Bible? Confusion continues to reign after he meets up with his friend Lot (Abraham's nephew) but where is Abraham? Sodom is eventually destroyed and Lots family flees to the Mountains but his daughters are no where to be seen. Lot has no daughters in this film yet the Bible says he has two (Genesis 19). When Lots wife (Carol Kane) is turned into salt, a stunned Lot breaks off her finger.

...The story continues...Noah's family enters a pagan temple and the pagans are stricken deaf, dumb and blind by God with a lightning bolt. Naamah, Noah's wife, (Mary Steenbergen) hits a women in the head with a frying pan. Noah's soon goes on a drinking binge, God provides Lot with a pre-cut lumberyard complete with instructions. God decides to build what remains of the Ark, not biblical either (Genesis 6:22). The Flood finally comes, if only the Deluge would have taken out the entire NBC writing staff, and the people on the earth perish or do they? Once the waters calm, Noah spies some ships on the horizon and more people have survived the flood. Soon the film turns into The Road Warrior on water and Lot and his fellow pirates attack the Ark and try to set it on fire but soon God sends a Waterspout (Tornado) to wipe out the pirates. So now the film has transformed itself from the Bible to The Road Warrior to a bad adaptation of The Wizard of Oz. God soon tires of all this violence so he decides to wipe out everyone, including Noah, and he (God) wants to start anew. Noah proceeds to go mad, takes some Perphenazine (my insertion - Mental Health medication) and decides to dance before God. God (a whimsically voiced deity) likes the dance so he decides not to destroy everyone. Yeah!!